Going Beyond Being About Us
From the Lightrail window,
I watch treetops blur by like fast paced days.
How could one reject thee?
Let me count thy ways…
I.
Why do some straight people feel the need to whisper
right as they say the word, “gay”?
Yet, when labeling a “dyke” or a “fag”
they aren’t mindful of what they say?
Maybe we need to redefine our slang.
There are some words that just shouldn’t be colloquial.
II.
Then, there are times when they don’t seem to notice you.
Like, when your sister notes the girls need to step up their wedding game,
but fails to acknowledge your engagement ring…
III.
They avert their eyes from our relationship as if looking away means it doesn’t exist.
If your mom refuses to speak to me then, I remain in the abyss…
Since when have closing our eyes and plugging our ears become the solution to anything?
IV.
Sometimes, I feel like a pollutant.
Like the litter that people drive by as they say,
someone should pick that up…
Like, I’m too filthy to be touched.
V.
I don’t like where this is going…
I don’t like the way your Christianity is showing.
Since when is it ok to throw relationships to the wayside to avoid the discomfort of getting dirty?
Can’t you see your relationship with your daughter is getting lost in the debris-
from the smog and smoke screens
that you have placed in between
for the sake of keeping your “cup” clean?
All of our dishes are hand-me-down.
And, no one eats off of a plate straight from the box without washing it first.
And, washing away your presence only heightens the hurt.
Our relationships would not be as easy to swallow if
we didn’t knead through the dirt.
I don’t believe Christ ever wanted us to scrub our love from those we see as being stained.
Because the truth is, even He
took the time to cradle us
before he was slain.
5-15-2018
I wrote this poem on the bus one morning on my way to work. As I was riding, I was thinking of different events and conversations where homophobia had presented itself. The title and the entirety of this poem was spurred from one phrase, “it’s not all about you”. My wife has had this phrase said to her on several occasions when she would try to express her frustrations with how people were treating her after coming out.
Something that those people fail to realize is the issues that are being brought up aren’t just personal issues. Often, when a queer person speaks up about being treated injustly there are other queer people that have had similar experiences. The only way to change how we are being treated is to speak up. Even though the moments in this poem reflect the experiences of my wife and me, they are small examples of how the Queer community is being treated a whole. Hopefully, by sharing our personal experiences, we are able to make a public impact on decreasing homophobia.
Don’t allow people to trick you into thinking you’re being selfish, when you need to express your feelings. It is ok to speak up when you feel like you are not being heard. If someone’s actions are causing you pain, you deserve a chance to make your feelings known. You deserve to have a moment where it is, “all about you” without being guilted by accusations of being selfish. The same idea applies to others when they are trying to express their pain to you. The beautiful thing about listening is, it doesn’t require agreeing, disagreeing, being right or being wrong.